As if I need another drain on my time I decided to start a blog on my current kendo exploits. I've kept a diary before and had mixed feelings about it. Yes, it's useful to have a record of one's progress but I have been surprised on numerous occasions to finish a practice dismayed only to have Sensei say I did very well. Equally I have practiced and felt unstoppable only to have Sensei point out my many deficiencies during the night. What happens within the confines of your men is often very different to what others see.
So why start a blog? Well I certainly resisted for a long while because I don't really want to say "I scored a good cut on so and so" or "so and so and beat me whenever they choose" and I know that I'm likely to do that. Aside from creating nicknames for those involved I'm really going to struggle in describing that part of my practice. However, I have planned to attempt my Sandan shinsa in March in Glasgow and I think I need to be getting my head in the right place as currently I've no idea how it's going to be. I could have graded in Stoke earlier this year, or Mumeishi but I have postponed it beacause I still don't feel ready. With hindsight I'm not sure if this was the right decision, I could have had two cracks at it and taken whatever advice, if I failed, or glowed with self importance if I passed!
I'm also hoping there will be something useful for other kendoka in here. Sure this isn't a high grade blog where you can trust every observation that I make but perhaps by sharing some of my nine years experience then it may be dismissed and I can reassess how I think about my knowledge or it may be thought as useful for some and I can build on how I share that knowledge with beginners or whoever.
Since my return to kendo I've been beset by a number of injuries and issues, one of which has been been numbness and tinling in my right hand. This has been diagnosed as some disc pressure on my nerves. I took time out a few years back but as the symptoms didn't improve I thought I may as well carry on doing kendo if I'm still suffering the same discomfort.
The unexpected bonus to this condition was that when I started practicing again I did so without preconception and ego. If I scored a single cut I was happy and whether I was able to win a match was purely irrelevant, just continuing to practice was reward in itself. Unfortunately I am now in a position where my ability to score a point is slightly more important. My recent matches at the Sir Frank Bowden Taikai did not go as well as I'd wish. Despite having observed my opponents and fought with confidence and spirit I did not win a match or in fact score a point. This means I have still not scored a point in competitive kendo. Ordinarily this would not bother me but with a shinsa not 16 weeks away this feels worrying but I need to find a way to both confront the issue and dismiss it so I will be able to enter my grading without too many worries.
Hence the blog. Don't expect too much though. As much as I have found it useful to record past efforts I hate doing it and by the time I do write down my thoughts of a practice often my perception has changed. We'll see how things go anyway.
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