Winter training week 3 - last chance to dance

I sent an email to both Sensei and Joe in advance of practice. I thought it best they were aware that this was my last proper practice. Unfortunately Sensei and Joe hadn't had chance to read the email and that left Joe in a slightly difficult position that he had no idea until the end of practice why I wasn't in full bogu. I think I owe him an apology at some point for this. Anyway it was also club photograph night and thankfully there were enough people not to make it embarrassing. One of the many sad things about leaving is that there will be one less person at the club and at least two currently practicing in the picture have signed up for the armed forces. I hope Beginner's Night furnishes the club with new and dedicated members to ensure the healthy continuation of Liverpool Kendo.

The training itself was quite hard because every time I tried to actually hit anything if there was even any slight disappointment I quickly wondered "so what?" Did it matter if I actually tried to resolve the mistake? It's not like any of it made any point anymore - that's really not how I wanted to end. I have to say watching the guys eventually put bogu on was one of the hardest things. Knowing this was something I could no longer do was so painful, knowing these guys are going to continue on the path and next year, although it won't be the next time I see them, they will have progressed and I couldn't share in that or be pushed by them to stop them 'snapping at my heels' ;)

If I thought just watching was difficult, just the sound of a decent cut is something that sends a thrill through me but every one was a little reminder that I could not do this. The funny thing is I probably could. The only thing I shouldn't be doing is ji-geiko and receiving. I could in fact do kihon and some waza drills [which I love], maybe not with my men on - the weight wouldn't help my neck. But then there isn't really a way to entertain such  selfishness and again the reasons why I wouldn't be able to do it don't advertise the activity in a good light.

Then came 'the big reveal'. At the end of practice Sensei welcomed Sensei Mike back from his illness and had to announce that I would not be coming back to take part. By that stage I was gone and following mokuso and reigi the entire class lined up to rei to me! I've never felt so moved and honored and I'm extremely grateful to everyone who participated in tonight's class.

I should be at kata practice in a few weeks to help out and then we'll see how things go.

Kendo High Noon

If you go back to my first blogpost you can find out a bit of my recent history regarding my current persistent injury. The main concern has been numbness and tingling in my right hand. This has been diagnosed as some disc pressure on my nerves but the scans I went for weren't conclusive. I'd also had a second opinion that was - I could just as easily get hit by a bus and if it was the only exercise I was doing then I may as well carry on. I took time out a few years back but as the symptoms didn't improve I thought I may as well carry on doing kendo if I'm still suffering the same discomfort.

Throughout 2011 I noticed that symptoms in right hand had improved greatly, however they had started in my left and to some extent they were more persistent than the right. I'm not sure which was more worrying the potential loss of ability in my right hand for work or the potential loss of ability of left hand to do kendo. It got to a point where I felt I had to go back and see if the problem was the same issue, it getting worse or something else entirely. So between Christmas and New Year I had another MRI scan and it was back to the consultant today for the results.

Armed with the questions,

• what's the worst that could happen?
• will it get better?
• can I do any exercises to make it better?

The consultant gave me the answers I didn't want to hear. He reiterated that kendo was really not an activity I should be participating in and the results could be as unpleasant as one could imagine. It's not going to get better, although the symptoms may improve, that's just the nerves getting used to being squished all the time from this naughty disc.

So, here ends my kendo career. Cut short a couple of months from my grading. I've had two years of fun and training since my first diagnosis so I should be thankful for that. The risk is too great and I'm pretty sure if anything were to happen my BKA insurance would be invalid. Having now confirmed condition I know it would put other kendoka in an unfair position opposite me and I can't exactly ask them not to hit me on the head!

So where does that leave me? Where does that leave this blog? Well, tomorrow night is Winter Training Week 3. It starts off in hakama and gi and we continue the exercises and some other cutting practices from weeks 1 and 2. I will take part in those and at the point we all don bogu I will watch. Tomorrow will be my last practice proper. I will still try to attend kata as I'm not being hit on the head and my skills can still benefit those who wish to grade in Glasgow. I will still help out with the Club Website, help organise the BKA Seminar and Kyusha Taikai - which I will referee at and any other events the guys wish to drag my carcass to, and also update the Kendo Clubs of Great Britain Google Map.

I'll also nip to training occasionally to help out, maybe on Beginner's Nights, though I'm not sure what kind of an advertisement I am for kendo that I had to stop doing it because concerns about being hit on the head. Just to point out I spent many years during my teens attending rock concerts and rock clubs, which involved a great deal of head-banging which could just as easily been the cause of this condition. The consultant did not say kendo was the cause of my problems but he said they would not help.

I will continue to be a part of the British kendo community in some form and there's still some things I want to share on the blog for a while at least. And of course there's one thing that I can definitely continue doing - Winter Training! For two and a bit practices a year I can return to my dojo and join all those I have travelled this path with and we will be equals once more.

Winter training week 2

Yet more retrospective of a great Winter Training session. Week 2 is usually the injury week. For the last couple of years when something was going to strain or pop it would be week 2. So with that running joke fresh in my mind I continued to be on my best behaviour so as not to do myself a mischief.

I think we had 13-15 in attendance, which was a decent number. A couple of guys sent apologies via Facebook or email which is a welcome change to the past where quite often we wouldn't know from one week to the next who was turning up. A simple apology does wonders to club morale because we then know it's just a one-off and we'll be seeing someone soon again.

Sensei said we had performed over 2,000 suburi in one form or another by the end of the night. Once again it was a great achievement for all not least those that had not had last weeks practice to bring them up to speed and prepare for week two. In fact both Eri and Inaie hadn't been for some time so I expect it was a bit of a shock but they battled through with the rest of us. Sadly it was Inaie's last night as she returns to Korea. It was sad to see her go, I'm not sure if she got into full armour, though she was more than capable. So I don't recall if we got to fence which is a shame.

Winter training week 1

With hindsight I should have posted these reports immediately after the event so you'll just have to make do with them retrospectively dated to when they happened. Winter training at Liverpool Kendo Club is very different to our usual practice but in some respects similar to other dojos normal practice and some aspects of squad training.

We do the entire practice in shorts/tracksuit pants and T-shirts. Sensei actually gave the reason for this at some point during the night - it's to remind everyone of what it's like as a beginner. To take us all back and put us on the same level. No bogu, no blue and white gi, just a group of people doing kendo basics. Usually the practice involves a lot suburi but also a number of physical exercises, races and team building exercises and games. In some respects it's like a kendo 'sports day'. I love it, I really do, I think people think I'm being sarcastic when I say it but I couldn't be more sincere. Historically I've always managed to injure myself at some point during the Winter Training. I've pulled hip muscles and groin strain, despite an extensive warm-up, usually when we separate into teams and run from one end of the dojo to the other, back and then back again, pick up a suburi bokken do a number of suburi repetitions and then race pack to tag the next in your team. I've taken to running like I'm in a penguin suit as usually when I try and sprint that's when something goes. Thankfully I survived week one without incident.

There was only 11 members tonight. We don't often get a lot for Winter Training but usually it's more than this and some of the team aspects weren't great due to the odd numbers. We did a jog round the dojo, which we usually don't do in practice due to the space limit with bogu, but since we didn't have any its what we do. Obviously kendo footwork is added in in places and the dance mirrors, floor to ceiling windows and lack of hakama can really help pick up how you are doing. Not so sure the beginners can see the opportunity presented here but maybe in time...

According to Sensei we did around 1,400-1,500 suburi in one form or another. As sempai I often go a bit overboard with suburi as I've mentioned but recently I was trying to get folk to cut better, not to far back with their jodan position and use their body to make the cut which is easier and less exhausting. Again I'm not sure they connected these two activities together.

It's an exhausting enterprise but a whole lot of fun too. Sure there were massive differences in the level of kendo on show but that's not really the point. Sensei's choice of all wearing tracksuits is a great leveller and regardless of ability we were all proud and supportive that we began and finished together, as a club, a great start to the year.