Seme - tame - whammy

Last Wednesday's practice wasn't much to write home about. There was eight of us, which meant we were kept busy and unusually we were all in armour. Unfortunately this doesn't translate to a higher level of practice, we're still struggling with the role of motodachi for those with less experience. I wasn't feeling great and I didn't really want to go but I've often experienced having a great practice on those nights you least want to train. Equally, the squad training/weekend seminar 'benefits' sometimes take a week or two to turn up in your practice and I thought perhaps this week would see them shine forth. No and no, was the answer to this. Sure there were some good moments but overall it was a pretty unrewarding night for me and another night that makes me question my ability.

In preparation for Sandan I'm trying to make that effort to make a strong seme, with a touch of tame and then take that opening. These are still infinitely complex concepts for me but there has to be some evidence I'm attempting them although I think the tame side of it is too long, I begin to settle and at that point my aite usually catches me on the cold foot. WHAM! I just gave them a decent opportunity and I'm stood there with the only satisfaction that I had the good grace not to block because I deserve to be hit. So I must try not to pause too long in this situation. Of course in another dojo with kendoka of greater experience I'd be picked up on this more. It'd be exploited to the extent I'd come to terms with it sooner rather than later. Unfortunately, with only Sensei and Joe to challenge my level it's not getting the attention it deserves. Those of lesser experience are hesitant to take the chance, due to inexperience, fear, some kind of misplaced hierarchy issue, etc. you can see they see the opening just don't know what to do with it.

So I guess it's up to me to not be in that situation - move it!

Not much going on.

Wednesday night training and there were only nine in attendance. It could have been worse though as one member is the most irregular attendee which we may not see again for three months and Josh, our newest 'signing' from Tora dojo will be on holiday so we could be down to seven for our final practice of the year next week...

Whatever plans we had thought of to improve the role of motodachi of our 'beginners in bogu' ended up impractical with these numbers. The varying degree of ability means it's a near impossible task at this stage. If they are struggling to stand straight, cut big and follow through how can they possibly think about being better when receiving for us? They should, it's not rocket science but I just think it'll be too much for them.

Anyway, we muddled through with the nine of us. I'm not entirely convinced my weekend added to my abilities but that's often the case - you go away for a weekend, get all these new skills and ideas, return to your own dojo and everything is pretty much the same as usual. I had one rather disconcerting moment where Joe was only allowed to cut men, whereas I could cut any target and any waza, giving me the supposed advantage. Somehow I was unable to do anything. I could feel I was desperate to be more creative and challenging but my body just seemed to take over and could only produce the most very basic of kendo. It's not that I was particularly tired either it just seemed I went on auto-pilot despite wanting to do more and be better. Still there was some ai-men practice out of it, though I think I came out worse off than the others.

So a rather lacklustre performance all round, nevermind, it's more 'density'.

Squad Training

My second Squad Training session and to say I had a touch of nerves was putting it mildly. We started off with kiri-kaeshi big, relaxed, open and slow I'm not entirely sure I was doing this as big and slow as required but we got progressively smaller and quicker. By the 6th set I was blowing hard and out of breath. Sensei Goodwin picked up on just how many people were suffering at this point. I know I was that way because of the nerves and probably too much adrenalin, Joe also pointed out later the venue is compact and quite a lot of CO2 builds up in those early stages and takes it's toll. Later on the doors were opened and I somehow had more energy so perhaps Joe had a point.

Following on from everyone out of breath we made lines and did kote-men up the line, around 6 partners and taking their place in the line as they passed. This was gruelling and tough. It's in the Japanese High School Training video and builds speed, quickness of hands and gets you to cut as quickly as possible as well as move your feet. We akso did the same exercise but just cutting men. We should do this in our dojo, but given the size and shape it's awkward and it only really happens during Winter training where we cut the tsuka, which is a shame.

The main focus on the Saturday was 'preparing the left leg' so that it was always in a position to launch from. I can't say I got it all the time but there were sometimes I was able to 'load up' my leg which helped immensely. I was able to reach well beyond my normal range but with significantly less effort. You just need time to load it up, that's possible with experienced opponents who are equally trying to pressure, find openings and create openings but much harder with someone inexperienced who just wants to thrash around.
We were also picked up on the role of motodachi and how important and better we have to be at it. This made me realise that when we are in our own dojo our beginners have to be much better at the role of motodachi to help challenge us.

I had three good fences with a Japanese Sensei from Mumeishi who, Sensei Starr [who disarmed me] and Sensei O'Sullivan. Sensei O'Sullivan was insistent I focus on cutting men in much the same way Sensei Ware instructs me to do, apparently when I'm 'under pressure' the kensen goes all over the shop, essentially whenever I attempt to move the opponents shinai out of the way my cut looks shoddy. Unfortunately I'm that preoccupied with opening a cut 'manually' instead of using seme that the kensen is in motion [the wrong motion] so when I go to cut men it looks wrong. When I just step in with proper seme and did the cut he was happy and I think that's what I need to focus on. Of course I've always felt that when I do this it feels almost too easy and I've never quite understood whether  this is the reality of doing it correctly or some other aspect of the instruction. If it was the reality of doing it correctly surely I would be more successful employing it in jigeiko? Still, much to think on

Sunday - shiai-geikoSo I was back again on Sunday and had three fences, though everyone else seemed to get in five, maybe I need to be more greedy ;)

First up was an ikkyu [I believe]. I managed to score twice and won. Does this break my duck of not having scored competitively? According to Joe it does and to a certain extent he's correct. The people at squad are the people who are at the competitions and compete more regularly than anyone else. I still need to score in a proper competition but I think it's a win.

Next up and it's my friend the Kendo Hypochondriac. There's a significant height and weight disadvantage for me but we had a good effort. My paranoia about stepping out of the shiai-jo coupled with the physical disadvantages led to some scary moments at the edge. Neither of us gave an opening that was exploitable and it resulted in a draw, I'll take that but it was a familiar result.

My final match was against a 5th Dan. Once again the result was a draw. I was lucky, I stepped out of the shiai-jo once and was even forced onto the tape a second time, I saw two flags indicating a second hansoku and was preparing to go back to the centre but it became apparent that the match was still ongoing, "yame" hadn't been called and I hadn't been on the receiving end of a cut during my misunderstanding. There were quite few cuts that I received which weren't scored. I hope it was continuing pressure forward that discounted them.

Throughout all the matches I don't recall being able to load up my left foot in the way I had the day before. Another fence would have been nice but it was a decent result in the end. We spent the remainder of the day watching the British Kendo Squad A team fight against the successful winners of the lower pools. The competitive level was furious with neither team giving an inch and fighting to the bitter end. As far as I was aware not a single ippon was scored with five straight hikiwake. Not a lot I can say about that as the level they were competing at is just so far above where I am and where I want to be. Shiai is an important part of kendo and it's a real challenge, a forging of the spirit definitely, but I just want to do good straight kendo without the bobbing, blocking and physicality that modern competitive kendo has to be to ensure victory. It's the old Cornish teachings coming back. Sure I do block and dodge occassionally but that's not what I want to do. These guys have been training for years to be the best they can be in competition, something I can no way match but we all take from this what we can. Although I always imagined the honour of being a squad member I don't think I could do what they do. I'm full of admiration for their commitment and skills.

A perfect moment

Last night was a good practice. Yet again I overstepped the mark with the amount of suburi but I didn't want folk to continue until they got it right and I don't think that's unreasonable taking into account the instruction inbetween sets as well as instructions twice during the suburi to only lift as high as jodan. If people are still lifting further back after being told not to then I don't see how 'letting them off' and finishing the suburi will benefit them. I think I need to use the 20 good cuts rule - that we will continue suburi until we've done 20 good cuts but every time a duff one crops up it resets the counter. Then folk know what's expected of them, know what's going on and put the effort in to guarantee it's not stuck on 'one' all night. 

 

We did some 'oji-waza' and although my collecting and returning of suriage-waza on the right hand side wasn't too great I know that later on my attempts to do suriage-men on the left hand side were greatly improved. I'm sure the reason for this was down to timing. Because it's harder to fit it all in on the right, what with your aite stepping and their right arm extended to cut. It seemed like I had plenty of time to cut on the left hand side because there was more room and I'd already managed to just about fit it in on the harder side.

 

Additionally we did some kaeshi-do practice. I allowed Joe to demonstrate the waza, I lacked the confidence to do it justice. With typical modesty he apologized to everyone in advance of demonstrating the waza but did admirably. Before we returned to attempt it I felt it important to illustrate that if you do not open for your aite to attempt the men cut you are not forewarned [a little at least] of when he will attack, thus giving you time to collect and respond with the kaeshi-do. What surprised me most was that I think I did a damn fine effort with the waza. Do cuts are something I just don't do but I have noticed in an offhand way that they are improving and during kihon practice they are solid and on target if just a little static on the stepping through after the cut. Of course during jigeiko I've observed the accuracy rate drops massively but I think it might be worth having kaeshi-do in my repertoire just a little more than I currently do.

 

Sensei also had us doing kote-do and was quick to pick up on some lack-lustre efforts. Instead of asking us to have more spirit he asked us to 'have fun with it' which I thought was a wonderful way to look at it as do is a fun cut, it's fluid and expressive. You cross the centreline and move the whole area of conflict to a different position. There's a level of control of the situation that you are perhaps making a decisive change to two folk opposite each other. 'Fun' I think is a very apt term. Later on during jigeiko with Joe I certainly felt like I was having fun. It was a glorious exchange were I honestly enjoyed the sparring with a mate. Once again evidence of his progress was solid and his ability amazes me and made clear what multiple practices a week can do for your kendo.  The challenge was one thing and I'm pretty sure he got the better of me, his debana-kote was spot on and numerous but it was a joy to fight and something I never want to miss out on but fear it will be so.

 

The icing on the cake was a fence with Josh where unbeknownst to me my improvements in oji-waza timing from the earlier practice came to fruition. A half decent suriage-men which ordinarily I'd have been satisfied with during a practice was eclipsed shortly after by what I can only describe as a 'perfect' suriage-men [as I say things are different inside the men]. For me it was such a perfect moment I had the 'bullet time' sensation as time slowed, the suriage was flawless, the men 'popped' with that sound only a kendoka finds arousing and my kiai screamed aloud in confirmation and at the realisation of just how good I thought it was I even got chills run down my shoulders and spine [lets hope that wasn't a neck issue;) ]. I may be being immodest about this but the whole point of this blog is to build my confidence. Remind me that I can pull decent kendo out of the bag and I'll be damned if I'm not going to revel in something special when it happens.

 

So a good night, and squad at the weekend, lets bring on the nose-dive from these heady heights of success, reality-check anyone?

Giri 義理

According to wikipedia 'Giri 義理 is a Japanese value roughly corresponding to "duty", "obligation", or even "burden of obligation" in English. It is defined as "to serve one's superiors with a self-sacrificing devotion" by Namiko Abe.'

Giri 義理 is a concept that seems to get little attention in today's dojo. With understanding of basics there may not be a huge amount of time to teach some of the more intangible aspects of kendo. It's a concept that was very much a part of my first dojo and something I continue to uphold today.

Joining a kendo club is very different to joining your local gym. We all come together to take part in an activity that is supposed to hone the mind, body and spirit, without this in mind we're just folks in a dance hall hitting each other with sticks. It's the duty of all to come with the intent to improve themselves, for those with experience to pass on that experience and help those newer to the art to advance. For those that are just beginning it's important to take on board the lessons and advice given and do your best to improve. It's often said that the most important people in a club are not necessarily the ones who are the best, it's the ones who come week in, week out regardless of their ability but in an effort to get better and support the club.

Another example of giri exhibited by our club is how we 'subsidise' the members. Either through the additional two kata lessons a month, entrance fees for team competitions and the use of club armour. Tonight is kata night and we will probably have no more than ten people practicing but most likely less. Our kata venue is in a location that some find difficult to attend so usually we have much reduced numbers than our Wednesday practice. This brings us to today and Mano Sensei, the current British Kendo Squad Coach will be attending Kobudokan Kendo Club in Manchester this evening before he retuns to Japan and it's also our kata night. As much as I should go to Kobudokan, my concept of giri calls for me to be at kata. Regardless of whether I would benefit more from being at Kobudokan I have a duty to be at my own club's dojo tonight as I have been encouraging others to attend. Admittedly one of our members is taking Mano Sensei to Manchester and there to too is an example of giri, in that he will be representing the Liverpool dojo on our behalf but because he can't make kata it makes it doubly important that I attend to compensate.

Don't get me wrong, giri isn't the be all and end all. In today's Taikai situations there are plenty of opportunities to be a sword for hire. Loyalty to one's dojo shouldn't preclude the opportunity to join another team to fence at one of the team taikais. But loyalty, commitment to turning up each week that's the basics of giri and hopefully we can see a little more of that spirit on show.

Suburi 素振り

So with our Wednesday practice cancelled I actually decided to nip outside on the patio for a bit of suburi 素振り. I like suburi I'm not entirely sure why, I have a lasting recollection of marathon sessions from my first dojo -  that aching sensation that my arms were about collapse, the desperate glances at sempai to see if there was any indication that we were about to stop. This loathing is now a love, maybe it's the Stockholm Syndrome? I have the same issue with painting my garden fence, I regularly do it but I spent a childhood painting my Grandparents fence but with the mildly toxic creosote which required me to be dressed head to foot, with woolen gloves on in the middle of summer! I hated that job but now I love it, anyway I digress.

I think as Sempai I continue this tradition in our dojo, I'm pretty sure they often look at me in the same way regarding how long it takes. There are a number of reasons for why I want our members to experience these things the way I did. One simple excuse is I often lose count on how many we've done so I just keep going until I feel tired, which isn't particularly fair on those who may have just started, but what an experience hey? The other reason is I like doing suburi but I have very little motivation to do it outside of the dojo and I feel that when I have the motivation and facilities to do it it's worthwhile 'going the whole hog'.

Back to yesterday, I'm not sure how long I was out there, probably no more than 10 minutes but I think it's at least keeping things in the forefront of my mind and if I have the willpower to actually venture out and do a bit then that's an achievement in itself! One major benefit to all this is that I've been observing my efforts in my reflection in the patio doors and I've already started to adjust my swing. In particular I am trying to focus on the transition between upswing and downswing - the jodan position. We've already identified that going too far back is wasted energy, it's slower, it employs biceps over triceps which results in hard, heavier swings that are again more energy consuming. These were reasons enough to change but equally I'm aware my predominantly big cuts are not what's expected for sandan and are highly unlikely to be effective within my shinsa as they are too slow and 'telegraph' too much my intentions to guarantee success.

Having observed my  jodan position I've started to ensure I don't go too far back. In some types of suburi this has still to be improved but single cutting is OK and I can feel significant benefits in that I am less tired and the cuts are much quicker and easier to perform. Hopefully this will be of benefit come March but at least I feel like I'm doing something pro-active. If you are interested there's a fantastic 'Suburi Swing Speed Study' that helps understand how to improve your suburi, click the link.

Kobudokan

I think it's been well over a year since my last visit to Kobudokan when our 'French friend' had his final practice. I still got lost even with the sat-nav but it was a simple mistake missing my exit to stay on the M56 and the re-route wasn't too painful. Anyway, onto the practice...

Overall the best thing about last night was the ability to just get on with my practice. There's no expectation of me to help with another clubs beginner's. Sure I can give advice and offer instruction but as a guest I'll reserve judgement until I have attended enough to feel it's appropriate to do so. Which allowed me to concentrate on my own efforts and not worry about anyone else. On the postive side the kihon practice was useful and some little techniques utilising the same waza from the fourth kata were explored. Not sure how successful this would be within your average jigeiko, probably a similar success/fail rate as katsugi or katate waza. The last thing I need at the moment is anything else that may deviate my cut from being straight and I know that some were landing without tenouchi and too much right hand but I love the fourth kata and being able to explore a practical application beyond an oji-waza was really interesting. Hopefully it will appear within my kendo at the right moment.

One failing I did have was that this technique and some of the useful hiki-waza practice failed to materialise during jigeiko. Whether this was due to the confined space, with quite a lot of matches taking place and limited amount of room to really get into it I felt I retreated to my usual kendo but very linear and without any strength in my posture that I may have had from last Wednesday.

Other points of note were my utter hatred of their extended kiri-kaeshi. Last time was bad and this time was much the same. After the third set of kiri-kaeshi I was spent and then we had to do another a couple. Totally punishing and it exposes just how badly in shape I am. I also forgot their lovely wooden floor shows no respect to my feet, which are used to the grippy vinyl at the Egg. So a spare tenugui soaked in water had to be quickly set up so I could keep damping my feet for a bit of grip. The adverse effect of this is that my feet really suffered afterwards and my left calf was under a lot of strain. Still I didn't end up on my arse which would have been significantly more painful/embarrassing.

I think I'll need to get out more to get the benefits of that 'selfish training', though sadly I will miss Mano Sensei being there next week as I think dojo loyalty must come first for kata night. Giri 義理 is a concept I'll probably cover at some point. I've mentioned it in my clubs blog and I think its something that is important and is another aspect of kendo that raises it above just stick fighting. It was impressed upon me at my first club and I believe it still holds true now

The day after tomorrow

Last nights practice was obviously an interesting experience. As I mentioned in my first post when I faced the possibility of giving up kendo previously, a certain fatalistic acceptance - that one good cut was sufficient and just the act of taking part was reward in itself improved my mental outlook. I referred to it as "fighting without preconception or ego". Well, on the positive side I felt a similar feeling last night. I was also particularly motivated and had a strong fighting spirit, well I may as well make the most of every last minute if there's only a finite amount left and with the grading to aim for I can't expect to achieve it with my one shot if I just sit back and think it'll all just happen.

Saying all this though, I've always maintained that only practicing once a week there was always a lot of pressure to get it right on the night because it'd be another seven days before I could redress the problems. When things went wrong it was frustrating and that had a negative impact on my perception of what I had done. Yet here I am with only a dozen [minimum] more practices and that's not pressure? We can only see.

But practice was good. One-to-one with Sensei was also rewarding, but why is it that I can achieve exactly what I aim to do with him and yet try the same thing with one of the other guys without success? Is it because he brings out my best kendo or is it because we still strive to block or defend at all costs?

I achieved some good cuts but noticed an increasing trend for folk to be overly frustrated when things do not go according to plan. In the past I've been more guilty than most for this but I realise the futility of it now [for now?]. Why waste time berating oneself for an error when one could be turning with zanshin and completing what you should have done first time! Equally when things go right do we jump around the dojo whooping and hollering about our success? No we do not, so why should we think it acceptable to mope around for our failures? Please, if you wish to sulk and moan at how bad you are with only a few months in armour under your belt, do it in your own time. This is my time with you, helping you to improve, this can not be done if you are bemoaining what could/should have been!

Of course there were times when I also failed and was frustrated and there will be moments where I curse and look skywards but thankfully I was quick to recompose myself and will continue to carry on regardless. The behaviour of others helping me to set an example and not be weighed down by my shortcomings. This is a process of continuous improvement, striving for perfection but we're not expected to achieve it, and I'm certainly not going to achieve it over the next three months anyway...

Throughout I was mindful of my neck, for the most part it was not a problem and I mentally logged cuts received and how the impact felt. Clear precise cuts were registered but there was no sensation of 'impact' and I'm sure most with experience can understand what I mean there. Obviously we have some beginners who are cutting predominantly with their right hand and there was 'axial force' but nothing that I felt was painful or uncomfortable.

I'm sure I had more to say on the events but I forget now, maybe it'll come to me later...

Kata - Unconsciously competent - Consciously incompetent

Kata on Monday and overall I was quite pleased and from it I was left thinking about 'the four stages of competence':

In psychology, the four stages of competence, or the "conscious competence" learning model, relates to the psychological states involved in the process of progressing from incompetence to competence in a skill.

Initially I was able to perform all 10 kata without too much conscious thought, 'unconsciously competent' and to a standard I was happy with. Of course at the point where I began to 'think' about what I had to do, to refine the technique and improve my execution of the kata everything went a bit pear shaped, 'consciously incompetent'. In particular the second kodachi kata was all over the place and no amount of instruction was going to fix that because the unconscious aspect of getting it right at the beginning meant that I actually didn't have the conscious 'blueprint' in my head of what was correct. Whatever examples were then being shown to me just ended up a visual blur that I could not replicate.

Still, I think the attached graphic may be very useful for those doing kata, kendo or any other skill, just replace the word kata, to help identify where they are in their training. Although this isn't a cycle as such, there are clearly moments, as evidenced already, that mastery of such a skill doesn't always result in an eventual conclusion. Often the process begins again or goes back a few steps. Which brings us to my other news which isn't too great...

It seems the problems that I have with pins and needles in my arms isn't getting better, having seen the consultant yesterday he advises me that I really shouldn't be doing an activity that puts "axial force on my neck from being repeatedly bashed on the head". As he said I could carry on for the rest of my life and put up with the discomfort without ever having any further issues or something could happen, though what he didn't elaborate. 

Not particularly pleasant to contemplate, especially as it's my second post of my new fledgling blog. I've another scan scheduled to confirm the Consultants diagnosis, but I doubt his advice will change. I still want to continue, but I will only do so until April, hopefully achieve my 3rd Dan in the March and help organise the Kyusha Taikai and Seminar and then take the remainder of the year off to see if there are any improvements, the symptoms in my right hand have pretty much gone afterall and maybe review it in 2013. Here's hoping... 

Another kendo blog

As if I need another drain on my time I decided to start a blog on my current kendo exploits. I've kept a diary before and had mixed feelings about it. Yes, it's useful to have a record of one's progress but I have been surprised on numerous occasions to finish a practice dismayed only to have Sensei say I did very well. Equally I have practiced and felt unstoppable only to have Sensei point out my many deficiencies during the night. What happens within the confines of your men is often very different to what others see.

So why start a blog? Well I certainly resisted for a long while because I don't really want to say "I scored a good cut on so and so" or "so and so and beat me whenever they choose" and I know that I'm likely to do that. Aside from creating nicknames for those involved I'm really going to struggle in describing that part of my practice. However, I have planned to attempt my Sandan shinsa in March in Glasgow and I think I need to be getting my head in the right place as currently I've no idea how it's going to be. I could have graded in Stoke earlier this year, or Mumeishi but I have postponed it beacause I still don't feel ready. With hindsight I'm not sure if this was the right decision, I could have had two cracks at it and taken whatever advice, if I failed, or glowed with self importance if I passed!

I'm also hoping there will be something useful for other kendoka in here. Sure this isn't a high grade blog where you can trust every observation that I make but perhaps by sharing some of my nine years experience then it may be dismissed and I can reassess how I think about my knowledge or it may be thought as useful for some and I can build on how I share that knowledge with beginners or whoever.

Since my return to kendo I've been beset by a number of injuries and issues, one of which has been been numbness and tinling in my right hand. This has been diagnosed as some disc pressure on my nerves. I took time out a few years back but as the symptoms didn't improve I thought I may as well carry on doing kendo if I'm still suffering the same discomfort.

The unexpected bonus to this condition was that when I started practicing again I did so without preconception and ego. If I scored a single cut I was happy and whether I was able to win a match was purely irrelevant, just continuing to practice was reward in itself. Unfortunately I am now in a position where my ability to score a point is slightly more important. My recent matches at the Sir Frank Bowden Taikai did not go as well as I'd wish. Despite having observed my opponents and fought with confidence and spirit I did not win a match or in fact score a point. This means I have still not scored a point in competitive kendo. Ordinarily this would not bother me but with a shinsa not 16 weeks away this feels worrying but I need to find a way to both confront the issue and dismiss it so I will be able to enter my grading without too many worries.

Hence the blog. Don't expect too much though. As much as I have found it useful to record past efforts I hate doing it and by the time I do write down my thoughts of a practice often my perception has changed. We'll see how things go anyway.